Thursday, January 8, 2009
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Ambien (Children's Book)
I was going to make a bad decision...
...but I took an Ambien instead.
I got curious about the afterlife...
...but I got Ambien in my head.
I was going to ride a dolphin...
...but got called a fag and got rocks thrown at me.
I was so upset and didn't know what to do...
...so I cried for a moment wondering where I put my Ambien.
It's okay to cry I told myself. It's ok.
I found my Ambien and I was ready for a break...
...I was too eager and took too much.
I can't go to my job anymore or play music or talk on the phone with family and friends but none of that is a drag where I'm going. Where I'm going I am agile and attractive, competent, worthwhile. There are several jobs they'll let me do. Good jobs too, jobs where you can take a thought, focus on it, and carry it with you through eternity and you can have Ambien, infinitely.
...but I took an Ambien instead.
I got curious about the afterlife...
...but I got Ambien in my head.
I was going to ride a dolphin...
...but got called a fag and got rocks thrown at me.
I was so upset and didn't know what to do...
...so I cried for a moment wondering where I put my Ambien.
It's okay to cry I told myself. It's ok.
I found my Ambien and I was ready for a break...
...I was too eager and took too much.
I can't go to my job anymore or play music or talk on the phone with family and friends but none of that is a drag where I'm going. Where I'm going I am agile and attractive, competent, worthwhile. There are several jobs they'll let me do. Good jobs too, jobs where you can take a thought, focus on it, and carry it with you through eternity and you can have Ambien, infinitely.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Party Scene
Every party I go to ends up being like this:
The only dialogue I that takes place is hasty and confusing, I'm perpetually disoriented, and my state of discomfort is accompanied by loud, dumpy, fretless bass.
The only dialogue I that takes place is hasty and confusing, I'm perpetually disoriented, and my state of discomfort is accompanied by loud, dumpy, fretless bass.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday Mind Melter: Courtney Wins!
Congratulations to Courtney for successfully unscrambling this Monday's animal!!!!!!!!!
There was a lot of confusion about how to solve the animal scramble and I realized I should have posted some explanation of what was going on. Each scramble is just one animal scrambled up - there are four options as to which animal has been scrambled. You just try to, using your knowledge of what animals look like, make an educated guess between A, B, C, and D. Courtney, this week's champion, was probably like "hmmm, I know that it has to be either a dog, a cat, a frog, or a rat...it looks small like a frog but it isn't green...wait...frogs usually won't have fur and they're usually green so I'll rule that out...looks smaller than a dog but it's a picture so it could've been re-sized...I wonder if it is actual size..." and then she would've had it narrowed down to only three animals that have fur and aren't green and now has a 33% rather than 25% chance of a successful guess.
Also, it won't help to look up other sites that have animal scrambles because each one I post will be custom made from scratch on day of posting.
Additionally, I'd like to award this week's winner with a custom desktop pattern entitled "Gimme Four."
Simply click on the picture with your right mouse button and select the "Set as Background" option. To get the most out of your desktop pattern open Control Panel > Appearance and Themes > Display > Desktop > and choose either stretch or tile. Stretch will fill your screen and give you larger hands and tile will fill your screen and give you more hands of the same size.
If you didn't win please respect the integrity of the competition and don't just take the desktop pattern for yourself.
There was a lot of confusion about how to solve the animal scramble and I realized I should have posted some explanation of what was going on. Each scramble is just one animal scrambled up - there are four options as to which animal has been scrambled. You just try to, using your knowledge of what animals look like, make an educated guess between A, B, C, and D. Courtney, this week's champion, was probably like "hmmm, I know that it has to be either a dog, a cat, a frog, or a rat...it looks small like a frog but it isn't green...wait...frogs usually won't have fur and they're usually green so I'll rule that out...looks smaller than a dog but it's a picture so it could've been re-sized...I wonder if it is actual size..." and then she would've had it narrowed down to only three animals that have fur and aren't green and now has a 33% rather than 25% chance of a successful guess.
Also, it won't help to look up other sites that have animal scrambles because each one I post will be custom made from scratch on day of posting.
Additionally, I'd like to award this week's winner with a custom desktop pattern entitled "Gimme Four."
Simply click on the picture with your right mouse button and select the "Set as Background" option. To get the most out of your desktop pattern open Control Panel > Appearance and Themes > Display > Desktop > and choose either stretch or tile. Stretch will fill your screen and give you larger hands and tile will fill your screen and give you more hands of the same size.
Then if you minimize the windows you're working in you'll still be able to see some while you're working on something else:
If you didn't win please respect the integrity of the competition and don't just take the desktop pattern for yourself.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sleep Etc...
I while back I was searching the iTunes store for podcasts that would help me fall asleep and realized people are under the impression that bad synthesizers and simulated crickets are comforting. I think the majority of people that live in cities aren't around crickets often enough to have developed a sleep inducing conditioned response to their rubbish songs and you'd think that the people that live in an environment in which crickets are a constant would just open their window if they wanted to hear that nonsense. As I browsed these sleep-aids for the uninsured I found one called "Daily Power-Nap - NapSounds Nature" that describes itself as follows:
PODCAST DESCRIPTION:
Imagine yourself in a peaceful valley, you can hear birds singing in the distance. Now, all you need to do is relax. Every day a new power nap is generated for you to enjoy. Specially designed power naps contain original sound recordings, custom resonating frequencies to ease you into sleep and a voice to gently guide you.
The reviews for this one are beyond awesome:
The Dog by Nappy Boy (2 Stars)
Who let the dog loose? It runs around barking and disturbing the nap. Then, at the end, some rooster crows. Let us set our own alarm.
Dog by NoNap (1 Star)
This is a potentially excellent idea, but who on earth considers a dog barking to be relaxing? Isn't that just the kind of noise people are trying to block out when they listen to things like this???
I found it quite suprising that Nappy Boy gave the podcast two stars after being agitated about the dog and then being deprived of the ability to crow his own cock. I wonder if the creators of this podcast are assholes or are just misguided.
I searched for a while longer and found nothing but more of the same and settled on a google video of somebody filming the sun set over the ocean which had some wind and crashing waves. I think by the time you've spent a few hours determining that all your options are comparably poor you're probably ready to sleep so it's one of those journey, not the destination, things.
Here are a few things I find to be sleep inducing:
David Sylvian's album Secrets of the Beehive
John Zorn's album IAO Music in the Sacred Light and Redbird
Naked City's album Absynthe
Led Zeppelin's Rain Song (from Houses of the Holy)
Lead bar to the head/Not browsing for vids.
PODCAST DESCRIPTION:
Imagine yourself in a peaceful valley, you can hear birds singing in the distance. Now, all you need to do is relax. Every day a new power nap is generated for you to enjoy. Specially designed power naps contain original sound recordings, custom resonating frequencies to ease you into sleep and a voice to gently guide you.
The reviews for this one are beyond awesome:
The Dog by Nappy Boy (2 Stars)
Who let the dog loose? It runs around barking and disturbing the nap. Then, at the end, some rooster crows. Let us set our own alarm.
Dog by NoNap (1 Star)
This is a potentially excellent idea, but who on earth considers a dog barking to be relaxing? Isn't that just the kind of noise people are trying to block out when they listen to things like this???
I found it quite suprising that Nappy Boy gave the podcast two stars after being agitated about the dog and then being deprived of the ability to crow his own cock. I wonder if the creators of this podcast are assholes or are just misguided.
I searched for a while longer and found nothing but more of the same and settled on a google video of somebody filming the sun set over the ocean which had some wind and crashing waves. I think by the time you've spent a few hours determining that all your options are comparably poor you're probably ready to sleep so it's one of those journey, not the destination, things.
Here are a few things I find to be sleep inducing:
David Sylvian's album Secrets of the Beehive
John Zorn's album IAO Music in the Sacred Light and Redbird
Naked City's album Absynthe
Led Zeppelin's Rain Song (from Houses of the Holy)
Lead bar to the head/Not browsing for vids.
My Favorite Things
In no particular order:
I'm not looking for trouble.
It isn't easy finding people that share more than two of my interests. Solitude is wonderful.
I'm not looking for trouble.
It isn't easy finding people that share more than two of my interests. Solitude is wonderful.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)