I while back I was searching the iTunes store for podcasts that would help me fall asleep and realized people are under the impression that bad synthesizers and simulated crickets are comforting. I think the majority of people that live in cities aren't around crickets often enough to have developed a sleep inducing conditioned response to their rubbish songs and you'd think that the people that live in an environment in which crickets are a constant would just open their window if they wanted to hear that nonsense. As I browsed these sleep-aids for the uninsured I found one called "Daily Power-Nap - NapSounds Nature" that describes itself as follows:
PODCAST DESCRIPTION:
Imagine yourself in a peaceful valley, you can hear birds singing in the distance. Now, all you need to do is relax. Every day a new power nap is generated for you to enjoy. Specially designed power naps contain original sound recordings, custom resonating frequencies to ease you into sleep and a voice to gently guide you.
The reviews for this one are beyond awesome:
The Dog by Nappy Boy (2 Stars)
Who let the dog loose? It runs around barking and disturbing the nap. Then, at the end, some rooster crows. Let us set our own alarm.
Dog by NoNap (1 Star)
This is a potentially excellent idea, but who on earth considers a dog barking to be relaxing? Isn't that just the kind of noise people are trying to block out when they listen to things like this???
I found it quite suprising that Nappy Boy gave the podcast two stars after being agitated about the dog and then being deprived of the ability to crow his own cock. I wonder if the creators of this podcast are assholes or are just misguided.
I searched for a while longer and found nothing but more of the same and settled on a google video of somebody filming the sun set over the ocean which had some wind and crashing waves. I think by the time you've spent a few hours determining that all your options are comparably poor you're probably ready to sleep so it's one of those journey, not the destination, things.
Here are a few things I find to be sleep inducing:
David Sylvian's album Secrets of the Beehive
John Zorn's album IAO Music in the Sacred Light and Redbird
Naked City's album Absynthe
Led Zeppelin's Rain Song (from Houses of the Holy)
Lead bar to the head/Not browsing for vids.
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2 comments:
I hope the creators of the dog barking podcast did it to be dicks. They should make a whole series including babies crying, engines revving, bombs exploding, etc.
I totally hope so too. If not they must be totally worthless. I just picture some lonely fat dude recording it in his odorous living room and his dog runs in and starts barking and he's like "fuck it" and just keeps rolling. I like your series idea. In some places I'm sure bombs exploding are a more frequent occurrence than crickets cricking.
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